When you have children, a good majority of your life revolves around the needs of your children. If you and your spouse are planning to divorce, this doesn’t change. You want your children to have what they need to thrive throughout the process and beyond.
It isn’t easy to think about what your children are going to need in the future. While you are making decisions related to your divorce, take the time to consider their needs. Try not to do anything rash.
Talk to your ex
It isn’t going to be easy to discuss these matters with your ex, but both adults have to come up with a plan. How would you like custody to work? You might not be able to come up with all the plans, but you should be able to determine a tentative schedule. You also need to discuss other matters like who is going to move out of the home and similar points.
Sit down with the children
Your children will want to know what’s going on. Give them as much information as you can, but focus on doing so in an age-appropriate way. Instead of going into the details about why the divorce is happening, discuss the future. Let them know how the custody arrangement is going to work. Give them the information you have now, but be sure not to make unrealistic promises. Another consideration is that you need to be ready to answer their questions.
Set the tone early
You might be emotionally devastated by the divorce, but you can’t use your children as your sounding board. Instead, try to keep things for them pleasant and upbeat. Set the rules for your home now so that the kids have stability from the start. Think about ways that you can make your time with them memorable, even if that means that you are having game nights with hot chocolate to have fun at home.
Make sure that you are ready to handle the matter of getting the divorce settlement and child custody agreement set. This can take a bit more time, but you might be able to use what you learned with the temporary agreement to help set the terms of the permanent one.